The Last Ditch by Tom Paine

THE LAST DITCH

Next trip in planning stage

Published by Tom

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HighlandsOnce the final match of the Premier League season has been played at Craven Cottage, I shall be off to the Scottish Highlands for a week. I have no agenda but to drive on wonderful empty, winding roads and – in photographic terms – to "stand in front of more interesting stuff." 

I shall aim to get as far north of Edinburgh as I can on Day #1 and will need to start heading south on Day #6. That leaves four days to explore the Highlands and Islands at such speeds as the polis permits; stopping wherever excessive natural beauty (or local eccentricity) demands the attention of my lens.

Any advice on sights to see and distilleries to tour (bearing in mind that I've already been to all the biggies and won't be taking Speranza on Islay's peatily three-dimensional roads) would be most appreciated. Most of all – as my only complaint about my favourite motor circuit is the catering – please speak up if you know good places to eat!

My Scottish tours in recent years have been disorted by a tendency to gravitate to my favourite spot in Scotland, Dunvegan Castle. I confess that I hate the idea of being close and not visiting, but for variety's sake I may try to stay on the opposite coast to Skye this time. I have so much Talisker in stock anyway that I shall be lucky to live long enough to finish it!

If any of you gentles live or work on my route, I would be honoured to buy you a dram, a wee cup of tea or an Irn-Bru.

8 responses to “Next trip in planning stage”

  1. Chromatistes Avatar
    Chromatistes

    I trust it is Talisker Talisker. (Cabin Pressure: Timbuktu)

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  2. Matt Avatar
    Matt

    Keeping windmills out of your photos will test your ingenuity and viewpoint selection to the limit. Or resort to PhotoShop like the Tourist people do.
    Try to get to Edradour at Pitlochry if it is not on your been there done that list already.
    Have a great trip.

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  3. Diogenes Avatar
    Diogenes

    Feel free to shout at me at Craven Cottage I’ll be with the cheerful people making all the noise.

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  4. Tom Avatar
    Tom

    I was tempted to write “the final match of the Premier League era” but to hell with negativity. I “still believe” – at least until the Stoke match tomorrow. It’s not a much less hard destiny to be a Crystal Palace fan than a Fulham one, surely? I would revert to my lifelong loyalty to Liverpool FC next season, but the waiting list for a season ticket is longer than my life expectancy and Speranza is already parked too close to Anfield for my taste.

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  5. David Davis Avatar
    David Davis

    Old man, I went properly to Skye in 1968 when I was 16, with the school’s venture-scout troop.
    We had more or less to look after ourselves for three weeks. The scoutmasters deposited “depots” of rations (military stuff purloined from the school’s CCF) at places to which they gave us map refs. We chaps were then turned out in at least proper boots/kagouls with three days’ food plus everything else that we needed to carry such as tents, stoves, petrol, first-aid, maps and compasses and so on, and given a “general direction in which to go first”.
    I remember that at one point we passed what turned out to be a distillery. It was in fact the Talisker people. We really needed only water at that point being a bit parched, so we turned up, and were royally entertained by the staff present at that time, and got our water. We were also offered the taste of some “product” but thought we ought to decline it being young (except for the odd dram). We even got an impromptu tour thrown in, which was fascinating.
    “We did’na know ye boys we’re on y’re way. Or we wud’ha-made something.” That’s what the man in the office said, sort of, at this remove in time.
    You’ll like that trip old man. Try to give it a few days longer, which you might need.

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  6. Tom Avatar
    Tom

    I won’t be there now. The game’s up for Fulham so I shall head off to Scotland a day early.

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  7. Diogenes Avatar
    Diogenes

    Enjoy your trip.
    I’m surprised Fulham went down, they handed Palace their worst drubbing for years at Selhurst Park.
    I think you’re much better off with Fulham than Liverpool. On Monday the Liverpool fans were their usual good natured nightmarish selves, no other club sends thousands of ticketless fans who try to break into your stadium… what could possibly go wrong with that. I can’t abide them.
    I was in Brussels the morning of the Heysel Stadium massacre but had to drive to Cologne in the evening. When I went down for breakfast, on my first ever day in Germany, the hotel owner greeted me with a waved newspaper and the phase “Look vot your people haff done”.
    Watching scousers weep warm my soul.

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  8. Ian Innes Avatar
    Ian Innes

    If you’re in the Inverness area, take a drive down the south side of the loch. Stop at the Dores Inn, good food.
    If you’re there on a Friday night you will find us.
    When perusing the top shelf it’s always worthwhile stopping by a Glenfarclas

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Tom is a retired international lawyer. He was a partner in a City of London law firm and spent almost twenty years abroad serving clients from all over the world.

Returning to London on retirement in 2011, he was dismayed to discover how much liberty had been lost in the UK while he was away.

He’s a classical liberal (libertarian, if you must) who, like his illustrious namesake, considers that

“…government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.”

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