THE LAST DITCH

My beloved 'Mrs P.' has passed away. She died peacefully in the early hours of this morning. I was at her bedside, holding her hand and telling her for the last time in this life how much she is loved.

I cannot thank enough the staff at the Cromwell Hospital in London. They have taken great care of her since she was first diagnosed with cancer in December 2008. They were marvelous in the last few weeks. On Friday, they stood around her bed singing 'Happy Birthday' to Miss P the Elder. Mrs P's eyes lit up as they came in bearing an enormous cake made in the hospital kitchens. She ate a few crumbs, smiled at them and mumbled through heavy sedation 'I am very pleased'.

She was my wife of 31 years, my best friend of 37 and my chief counsellor in life. Her love of foreign languages and her curiosity about other cultures made my international career possible. She was a wonderful, instinctive mother to our two splendid daughters. She made every family occasion special. We will miss her more than I can possibly express.

We have been together since I was a boy of 17. She was the author of most of the good in my life. The road ahead seems very dark without her by my side.

R.I.P.

88 responses to “‘Mrs Paine’ – 1956-2011”

  1. Anna Raccoon Avatar

    There are no words Tom – I am so very, very sorry.

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  2. Old Holborn Avatar
  3. Richard B Avatar

    Tom, I am so sorry.

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  4. Clarissa Avatar

    So sorry to hear this Tom. My condolences to you and your daughters.

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  5. WitteringWitney Avatar
    WitteringWitney

    Extremely sorry to read your sad news, Tom. All one can say is you have my deepest sympathy and condolences.

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  6. Ron Combo Avatar
    Ron Combo

    Profound sympathy.

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  7. Phaesi Avatar
    Phaesi

    My heart goes out to you and your daughters.

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  8. Rev. (not a Rev) Spooner Avatar
    Rev. (not a Rev) Spooner

    Tom, there will be many people like me who watch blogs from afar but never comment, never interact with those that bring information interest and pleasure into our lives.
    Personal bloggers such as you, though, become people we know, and we care about them and their lives.
    So when I send you and your family my very deepest condolences, I’m only one of many who will have the deepest sympathy for you today.
    All the very best.

    Like

  9. Raedwald Avatar
    Raedwald

    Oh how dreadful. My heart is with you in your grief.

    Like

  10. Fred Thrung Avatar
    Fred Thrung

    Yes, Rev dot Spooner speaks for many of us. Condolences to you and family.

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  11. jameshigham Avatar

    I can only add my lack of words. Seriously, we’ve spoken before on it. May it be a better place for her now that the trauma is over.

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  12. NickyP Avatar
    NickyP

    My condolences.

    Like

  13. SadButMadLad Avatar

    My condolences too. Your writing of what she meant to you brought a tear to my eye.

    Like

  14. Captain Ranty Avatar

    So very sad to hear your news. My thoughts are with you and your daughters today, and the grief-laden days ahead.

    Like

  15. Peter Briffa Avatar
    Peter Briffa

    Very sorry.

    Like

  16. Andrew Withers Avatar
    Andrew Withers

    I am so sorry to hear this news Tom, thoughts are with you and your family.

    Like

  17. Rick Avatar

    May the sad memories of her illness and loss fade quickly so you can be comforted by what she meant to you and all the good times you had together.
    Condolences.

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  18. NewsBoycap Avatar
    NewsBoycap

    Condolences to you and family.

    Like

  19. Dominic Allkins Avatar
    Dominic Allkins

    So sorry to hear your news. You and the family are in my thoughts.

    Like

  20. Pogo Avatar
    Pogo

    There is really nothing that I can say that doesn’t jst come across as empty words. I’m so desperately sorry to hear your news. RIP “Mrs P”.

    Like

  21. Henry Crun Avatar
    Henry Crun

    Sincere condolences to you and your family, Tom.

    Like

  22. john miller Avatar
    john miller

    I am so sorry to hear the news.
    My condolences to you and your family.

    Like

  23. CJ Nerd Avatar
    CJ Nerd

    My condolences to you and your children.

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  24. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    A beautiful tribute to her. May God help you find comfort and peace in your memories and work in the days ahead

    Like

  25. Chuckles Avatar
    Chuckles

    Condolences Tom, thoughts are with you.

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  26. Katabasis Avatar

    Oh Tom, like so many others have said above, there are no words. My deepest sympathies mate.

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  27. Grumpy Old Man Avatar
    Grumpy Old Man

    They are not dead, who live on in our hearts.
    Sincerest sympathies to you and your family.

    Like

  28. Autonomous_Mind Avatar

    You and your family are in my thoughts. My sincere condolences Tom.

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  29. BendyGirl Avatar

    I’m so very sorry to hear this. Condolonces to you and your family.

    Like

  30. Angry Exile Avatar
    Angry Exile

    Condolences on your loss, TP. Very sad.

    Like

  31. Surreptitious Evil Avatar
    Surreptitious Evil

    😦
    I’ve never met you or your family, but my sympathies to all of you.

    Like

  32. john b Avatar

    It seems dark now, but it’ll get better. I’m terribly sorry for your loss. You’ve still got many great years ahead of you (and, selfishly, I hope to get to continue reading, arguing with, & being shown wrong by you for many years). I can only imagine your loss; having lost a mum who was too young I can feel your daughters’ pain. I wish you all the best.

    Like

  33. Bill Sticker Avatar

    At times like this it’s difficult to say something that doesn’t sound like clichéd faux-grief for someone you’ve never actually met. Yet Libertarian bloggers are an small and possibly endangered online community, and the loss of one, or their muse, diminishes us all.
    I cannot feel your pain but am truly sorry to hear of your loss. May your grieving be short.

    Like

  34. Mr Ecks Avatar
    Mr Ecks

    Very sorry indeed to hear of your loss.

    Like

  35. Bel Avatar

    Dear Tom, I am sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences. Wishing for strength and comfort for you and your family.

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  36. Trooper Thompson Avatar

    My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
    R.I.P.

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  37. Lord T Avatar
    Lord T

    Our condolences to you and your daughters.

    Like

  38. Roger Thornhill Avatar
    Roger Thornhill

    My most sincerest condolences. Words fail.

    Like

  39. JMB Avatar

    Peace be with her. She knew she was loved deeply. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

    Like

  40. sams Avatar
    sams

    Sorry to hear the bad news, profound sympathy.

    Like

  41. Dembones Avatar
    Dembones

    I echo Rev’s sentiments.
    Deepest sympathy to your and your family.
    In life our wife or husband is the only family member we choose for ourselves. We do not choose our parents, siblings or children. This makes the loss of a life partner so much harder to bear and you will have hard times ahead.
    My sister’s funeral was on Friday and she was barely a couple of year’s older than Mrs Paine, she was in rude health but suffered a sudden heart attack. She was married 33 years. I do so feel for my brother-in-law who is like you having to bear this terrible loss.

    Like

  42. SimonF Avatar
    SimonF

    My condolences to you and all the family.

    Like

  43. Dick Puddlecote Avatar

    I’m so sorry to read this sad news, Tom. I offer my sincerest condolences.
    Having met you on a few occasions, I know that she would have deeply enjoyed the 37 years that you were together, and when I last saw you in July, the fondness with which you spoke of her suggests that you must be hurting immensely right now.
    I wish you the very best my friend. The thoughts of me and my family are with you tonight.

    Like

  44. sunnymama Avatar

    I am so sorry to hear this. Your tribute to Mrs Paine is very moving and I send my deepest sympathies for your loss.

    Like

  45. David Davis Avatar

    Tom, dear old fellow,
    There is not really anything another human can say to you, to make it better. But you know we out here all love you. Consider this to be a sort of “pat on the back” from a friend.
    I don’t know about this sort of thing, not having been there. But you have your children close by, who also love you.
    And of course you will have all the memories of how it was. Perhaps she was so good that God has just borrowed her for a little time, and you will get back with her after the End.

    Like

  46. patently Avatar

    What the (Not Rev) Spooner said. In spades.
    So sorry to hear this. So, so sorry.

    Like

  47. Bishop Hill Avatar

    Deepest condolences, Tom.

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Tom is a retired international lawyer. He was a partner in a City of London law firm and spent almost twenty years abroad serving clients from all over the world.

Returning to London on retirement in 2011, he was dismayed to discover how much liberty had been lost in the UK while he was away.

He’s a classical liberal (libertarian, if you must) who, like his illustrious namesake, considers that

“…government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.”

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