Dear diary: thief makes record of armed robbery – Telegraph.
Please notice how the idiot wrote it:
Robbery happens.
All my criminal clients spoke this way when I was briefly a defence lawyer, many moons since:
I was doing so well staying out of trouble, Mr Paine, and then this happened.
I have blogged before about this. It's not that really that they robbed someone, you see. They were there and a robbery happened. My theory is that we could distinguish between the responsible and the irresponsible in society by simply tracking excessive use of the passive voice.
Perhaps we had better not though. The politicians would only want to redistribute wealth from the former to the latter.
The Last Ditch by Tom Paine 
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