THE LAST DITCH
Mrs Paine was chatting to the nurses during her out-patient visit today. "I feel sorry for him," said one, pointing at a newspaper picture of Gordon Brown. "How much must he need the job? He must realise he's no good at it. Everyone knows."
Were she a psychiatric nurse, she might realise that Mr Brown knows no such thing. Somewhere, away with the fairies, he is a fearsome lord and all tremble before his might.
How can anyone feel sorry for Brown. I doubt we have ever had two such liars as Blair and Brown, but Brown seeks new heights for his mendacity. After lecturing us to the effect that his upbringing and religion have made him a more honest person than the rest of us, three minutes later he is lying about replacing Darling with such brazen transparency that even hardened lobby hacks are taken aback.
With a sense of irony utterly incomprehensible to himself, Brown swears transparency in his dealings with MPs expense claims, then suppresses publication of an “independent” report, over which he should have no influence.
His two brothers work in PR, so perhaps it’s in the genes.
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Until October.
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I think we may safely assume he has no sense of irony, John. If he acquired one, I doubt if he could continue to live, let along continue in Number 10. I cordially detest the man. He will never be his own worst enemy as long as I live. Yet even I squirm with embarrassment for him at his excruciating humiliation. The game is up. The whistle’s blown. The fans are glumly reviewing the prospects of bouncing back swiftly from relegation. Only Brown is still on the field, calling out to long-departed team mates, passing the ball to himself and still scoring in the wrong goal.
It’s time for Sarah to take pity and arrange for him to be sectioned.
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Tom is a retired international lawyer. He was a partner in a City of London law firm and spent almost twenty years abroad serving clients from all over the world.
Returning to London on retirement in 2011, he was dismayed to discover how much liberty had been lost in the UK while he was away.
He’s a classical liberal (libertarian, if you must) who, like his illustrious namesake, considers that
“…government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.”
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The Last Ditch by Tom Paine 
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