The Last Ditch by Tom Paine

Link: Met to create politically correct mascots – Telegraph.

I am offended. I have been racially and sexually insulted. The person who said this police mascot is "too white" is a racist scumbag. How "white" would be acceptable to you, my friend? I am white and I am proud. Of course, I wouldn’t dream of offending other ethnic groups by complaining that the new mascot under development is, say, "too Asian" or "too black," but I damn well I demand the same respect in return. I did not choose my ethnic origin. It is quite wrong to attack me for it. By saying that a mascot of the same colour skin as me is unacceptable, that is what this person has done and I am furious.

Offended as I am, I may need to consider filing a complaint with the Equality & Human Rights Commission. On the other hand, given how gravely offended I am, perhaps a more aggressive approach is in order? My wrath is righteous.

In complaining that "PCSO Steve" is too male, our friend has grievously offended me again. How would it be if I objected to a girl mascot on the basis that she was "too female?"  Precisely how male could I be and remain "acceptable" to this sexist pig?

To look on the bright side, at least when Metropolitan Police officers are criticising people for being too white or too male, they are not shooting white males dead for resembling Ethiopians.